Choosing to be child-free – ‘I was told I wasn’t fulfilling my purpose as a female’

Amber Ojak talks about her decision to not have children and why it’s an important topic for people inside and outside of dentistry to discuss. 

Choosing to live child-free – do you think it is an important topic that should be discussed?

I think it’s a very important topic. There are so many pressures on women and deciding to have a family is one of these. There are so many conversations about body clocks, medical conditions, fertility, but not enough about the women who choose not to have children just by their own choice.

Have you always known that you didn’t want children?

I think I knew from quite an early age. I love children, I love babies, and I love seeing the joy they bring to other people, but I have never been able to picture my own.

What’s the most outrageous thing someone has said to you because of this choice?

I’ve had so many comments said to me over the years it’s hard to pick. Someone once said to me I would be not fulfilling my purpose as a female – it was pretty harsh. There is so much more to us than just having families.

What would you say to someone who feels pressured into having children when they do not believe it’s for them?

I would say don’t be afraid of speaking out. Everyone deserves to be happy and you have to put your happiness first, no matter what people say. People are happy with children. People are also happy without them.

Are you ever misunderstood about this and how does it make you feel?

The phrase ‘you’re only young, you will change your mind’ constantly gets said to me and it upsets me.

It feels like no one takes it seriously or wants to accept that I’m quite happy with my decision.

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