This month, Sarah McKimm responds to a reader struggling with a patient complaint and offers practical steps to manage the mental toll.
The scenario
I’ve just received notification from the GDC that a patient has submitted a complaint about their orthodontic treatment.
What’s frustrating is that the patient had voiced some concerns during one of our appointments. We sat down, discussed everything thoroughly, and I genuinely thought we’d cleared the air. They left seeming reassured, leaving me with the impression that the matter was resolved.
I can’t help but feel betrayed and confused. Professionally, I know I’ve acted appropriately and followed all protocols. Even so, I can’t stop thinking about it. My confidence has taken a hit, and it’s started to affect my mental health. I’m finding myself questioning my clinical decisions. Please help me find perspective!
What is Chairside Chats?
Sarah McKimm is a qualified counsellor with more than 20 years of experience in the dental profession. She is here to offer a space where dental professionals can explore the human side of dentistry together, looking at what’s behind the mask through a unique perspective.
Each month, she will take a question from one of you and explore it with care, compassion, and insight. Drawing on her dual background as a counsellor and experience as a dental professional, she aims to provide empathic, non-judgmental responses tailored to the struggles faced in this field.
While she can’t offer counselling here (or replace professional support where it’s needed), she hopes to share some practical tips, professional insights and coping strategies.
Sarah’s reply
Dear reader,
I can only imagine how getting that notification from the GDC must have been for you when it landed. Even when you know you’ve done everything right and acted in the patient’s best interests a complaint like this still has the power to knock even the most confident clinician off their feet.
It’s especially tough when you’ve had an open, honest conversation with a patient, believe you handled it in the best way possible, and then find out they’ve still felt the need to make a formal complaint. You thought you’d both walked away from that appointment on the same page – so of course this has left you feeling blindsided. That sense of being ‘betrayed’ isn’t an overreaction at all. It’s a completely normal human response to a situation like this.
You’ve already shown integrity and professionalism by sitting down with your patient, listening to their concerns, and giving them time and space to talk things through. That’s exactly what the GDC expects under Principle 1: Put patients’ interests first and Standard 4.1: Communicate effectively. It’s important to remember that doing your best doesn’t always prevent a complaint. Unfortunately, even when you feel like you ticked all the right boxes you can’t control how the patient feels once they’ve stepped away from the dental surgery.
Dentistry isn’t just technical – it’s personal. You invest so much of yourself into patient care, and when something like this happens, it can feel like not just your work, but your character is being questioned. The fact that it’s started to chip away at your confidence is understandable, and you are far from alone in feeling this way.
Steps you can take
Your confidence and self-belief have taken a hit and it’s important to pause and ground yourself. When it comes to managing the mental toll, a few things might help you steady the ship:
1. Challenge the inner critic
Write down the thoughts that keep going around in your head – putting pen to paper can help find clarity. What if you can reframe this as a signal? Not that you failed but something about the patient experience didn’t land how it needed to. The complaint may be more about the patients’ unmet emotional needs than your clinical competence. If this is true then it shifts ‘what did I do wrong’ to ‘what need wasn’t understood or met?’ Invite curiosity over self-judgement.
2. Grounding techniques
Anxiety pulls the brain into the past or future – bring yourself back to the here and now. Techniques like slow, deep breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise (naming things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste) can break the cycle of rumination.
3. Professional reflection
Remind yourself of the good work you’ve done across your career. Make a list of patient feedback, compliments, even small moments where you made a difference. Reflect on what happened and how it aligns with GDC standards and ensure you have thorough records. Your confidence isn’t gone, it’s just shadowed right now by this one complaint.
4. Reach out
You don’t have to sit with this on your own. Seeking support from a counsellor with an understanding of the pressures and workplace cultures of dentistry can provide a safe non-judgemental space to talk through these difficult feelings in confidence. Trusted colleagues, your dental defence organisation, and your practice’s employee assistance programme (EAP) can offer practical advice and additional emotional support.
Would it be helpful to check in with the nurse who was present during that appointment? Sometimes another set of eyes and ears can provide reassurance or offer insight into how the conversation came across from a patient’s point of view. Having that shared understanding can help you feel less alone in it.
5. Nourish the person, not just the professional
Don’t underestimate the power of stepping out of ‘dentist mode’ and into ‘you mode’. Time with supportive friends, laughter, fresh air, getting outdoors, exercise can create space for your mind to breathe. In times of stress, these simple human comforts can be as valuable as any clinical advice especially when you’re feeling fragile.
Turning point
Some of the most self-aware, empathic practitioners I know didn’t get that way from the easy years – they grew through exactly this kind of moment. If this experience deepens your empathy, your clarity, or your boundaries, it’s not just a wound – it’s a turning point.
Take gentle care,
Sarah
Catch up with more Chairside Chat articles here:
- Workplace bullying in dentistry: ‘I’m being targeted by senior staff – but I’m scared to report it’
- I’m a new dental graduate – and I’m worried I’m a bad dentist
- I’m using alcohol to cope with dental practice pressures.
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