Workplace bullying in dentistry: 'I'm being targeted by senior staff'

Sarah McKimm tackles the problem of workplace bullying, and reveals the steps she would take towards reclaiming control and resolution.

The scenario

I’ve been working at my dental practice as a hygienist for six months and I’ve been experiencing workplace bullying from a more senior colleague. It’s been going on for some time, and I feel completely trapped.

They undermine me in front of others, criticise my work unfairly, and create an atmosphere that makes me dread coming into the practice. I’ve tried to brush it off, telling myself that maybe I’m overreacting and that lots of people face this sort of behaviour, but I know this isn’t normal. It’s affecting my confidence and I’m starting to reconsider if dentistry is even for me.

I want to report it, but I’m terrified. This person has been at the practice much longer than I have, and they hold a lot of influence. I worry that speaking up will only make things worse for me, or that no one will take my concerns seriously.

I don’t know what to do. One side of me wants to report it as I know it’s the right thing to do and could potentially stop other future dental hygienists having a similar experience. But the other half of me thinks I should hand my notice in now and avoid the fallout.

Sarah’s reply

Dear reader,

First, I want to say how incredibly brave you are for sharing this. It’s clear that you’re in a difficult and painful situation, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling trapped and conflicted. Workplace bullying, especially within a close-knit environment like a dental practice, can be incredibly isolating. You’re not overreacting – what you’re describing is unacceptable, and your feelings are completely valid.

Feeling undermined and unfairly criticised, particularly in front of others, can cut deep. It sounds like you’ve been carrying this stress for a while, and the toll it’s taking on your confidence and sense of safety at work is completely understandable. When someone in a position of influence behaves this way, it can create a constant sense of walking on eggshells – hyper-vigilance – where you’re always bracing for the next comment or criticism. That’s an exhausting and unsustainable place to be.

You mentioned that part of you wonders if you’re overreacting. That’s a natural response when someone else’s behaviour is making you feel small. I want you to know that you are not to blame for this. Bullying thrives when the target begins to doubt their own reality. The fact that you’re recognising this behaviour for what it is – unfair, unkind, and harmful – shows a lot of strength and insight.

It makes sense that you feel torn between wanting to report it and wanting to walk away. It’s important to remind yourself that you cannot control someone else’s behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it and the steps you take to protect yourself.

What is Chairside Chats?

Sarah McKimm is a qualified counsellor with more than 20 years of experience in the dental profession. She is here to offer a space where dental professionals can explore the human side of dentistry together, looking at what’s behind the mask through a unique perspective.

Each month, she will take a question from one of you and explore it with care, compassion, and insight. Drawing on her dual background as a counsellor and experience as a dental professional, she aims to provide empathic, non-judgmental responses tailored to the struggles faced in this field.

While she can’t offer counselling here (or replace professional support where it’s needed), she hopes to share some practical tips, professional insights and coping strategies.

Practice politics

How do dental professionals avoid getting pulled into dental practice politics? Looking back at my 20 years in dentistry, I think this can be really hard, especially having been in both small and big practices. I would say for people to reflect on what their own boundaries are – what they feel is acceptable and what they feel isn’t, and really sit with that. It’s about reflecting on your own beliefs, and not colluding or enabling this type of behaviour.

It should also be really clear for colleagues and members of the dental community to know just what to do. For example, a staff notice board could let staff know the kind of support available if they are experiencing sexual harassment or workplace bullying. It’s about helping people know what routes are there, whether it be going to the practice manager, speaking to HR, a safeguarding lead, or even the GDC, if necessary. It’s about knowing that it’s okay to escalate it.

Understanding the impact of bullying

What you’re experiencing is more than just workplace conflict – it’s a form of psychological harm. When you’re constantly on edge, expecting to be criticised or undermined, your nervous system stays in a state of high alert. This is known as a stress response (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn).

This response isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s your body’s way of trying to protect you from a threatening environment. Understanding this can help you begin to separate your emotional response from the belief that you are somehow at fault.

Steps you can take to reclaim control

Although you can’t control how this colleague behaves, there are steps you can take to protect yourself and regain a sense of control:

1. Reframe negative thoughts

It’s easy to internalise the bully’s behaviour and start to believe it reflects something about you – but it doesn’t.

Instead of thinking: ‘Maybe I’m just not good enough at dentistry’, try to remind yourself: ‘This behaviour reflects them, not me’
Challenge thoughts like ‘I should just toughen up’ with: ‘I have a right to feel safe and respected at work.’

This helps you reclaim your sense of worth and distance yourself emotionally from the bullying.

2. Set boundaries and practise assertiveness

If it feels safe to do so, you could try setting small, clear boundaries:

‘I’d prefer you to speak to me privately if you have feedback’
‘Please don’t speak to me like that.’

Using calm, open, confident body language and maintaining a steady tone helps reinforce your message without escalating the situation. You could always practise this in a safe space first!

3. Document the behaviour

Keeping a record of specific incidents including dates, times, and any witnesses, can help you feel more grounded in your reality and provide concrete evidence if you decide to report it.

Write down exactly what was said or done
Include how you feel and any impact on your work.

This not only strengthens your position if you take formal action but also helps you see patterns in the behaviour, which can minimise feelings of self-blame.

4. Seek support

You mentioned feeling unsure about reporting it because of this colleague’s influence. That’s completely understandable. If you feel ready, is there someone in the practice you trust – perhaps a practice manager or a supportive colleague – who you could approach confidentially?

If that feels too risky, consider whether your practice has a formal grievance procedure or access to an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), where you can receive confidential guidance and emotional support. Knowing that someone is on your side can make a huge difference in how isolated you feel.

5. Manage emotional overload with grounding techniques

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, grounding techniques can help you regulate your nervous system:

Try regulated breathing (inhale for four counts, hold for five, exhale for six, and repeat until you feel calmer)
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste)
Place your feet flat on the floor and focus on the sensation of feeling supported and steady.

These techniques can help shift your body out of a stress response and into a calmer state, giving you more clarity and control.

You deserve to feel safe

If you decide to report it and nothing changes, or if you feel that the situation is beyond repair, it’s okay to consider whether this environment is right for you. Walking away wouldn’t mean you’ve failed. It would mean you’ve chosen to protect yourself, which is a courageous and self-respecting decision.

Sometimes, staying and fighting for change feels empowering. Other times, protecting your mental health and removing yourself from a toxic environment is the healthiest choice. Both options are valid.

Whatever path you choose, please know that you are strong and capable.

I think it’s really important that you – and all dental professionals – feel deserving of respect and safety in the workplace. You play a vital role in the patient journey. You are a professional doing a job, whether it be a dental nurse, hygienist, therapist, dentist – everybody plays a key role in the patient journey.

As a result, if you don’t feel safe or respected within that environment, it’s going to have a massive impact on the whole practice and the whole workplace environment. This is something that practice managers and other HR bodies should be aware of. People are perceptive – they can pick up if somebody’s feeling anxious, on edge or irritable.

You are not alone in this, and you don’t have to face it without support. You are worth more than the way you’ve been treated, and you have the right to feel safe at work.

Take gentle care,

Sarah

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