Bereavement can be a taboo topic but often has a profound effect on those affected – Carly Francis shares her advice for navigating grief and loss in the dental team.
In dental practices, where teams often feel more like family than colleagues, the loss of a team member or a loved one can deeply affect the individual and the entire team.
Navigating bereavement in close-knit environments requires empathy, flexibility and a thoughtful, human approach. With thoughts from Carly Francis, cognitive behavioural therapist at Bupa Health Clinics, here’s how dental teams can support each other through loss.
Understanding grief
Grief is rarely a linear experience. People move through the known stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – in different ways or sometimes not at all.
Additionally, grief may show itself subtly or unexpectedly. Changes in mood or behaviour, drops in productivity or concentration, absenteeism, and even physical symptoms like fatigue or sleep troubles are all possible. Recognising these signs early can help with timely and compassionate support.
Creating a compassionate culture
Acknowledging someone’s loss is an important first step. ‘I’m sorry for your loss’, said sincerely, can mean more than we often realise. However, it’s key not to try to fix the situation – just being present and kind can be enough to show someone you care.
Offering flexibility if you can, is also helpful as grief doesn’t follow a set schedule. Offering flexible hours, time off, phased returns, or lighter workloads can all make a real difference.
How to support colleagues
Everyone grieves differently, while some may want to talk and share, others may prefer space or the comfort of routine. Providing a space to talk – whether through regular one-on-one check-ins, offering a quiet room, or simply letting someone know your door is open – can encourage openness while respecting their boundaries.
If they’d rather not talk to everyone, offer to pass updates on to the team on their behalf. The best support often comes from asking what someone needs and being willing to accommodate their individual needs.
When starting a conversation, choose words that acknowledge their pain without making assumptions. Phrases like, ‘I’m sorry you’re going through this’ or ‘It must be tough right now’ can be comforting. Whereas saying, ‘I know how you feel’ or ‘They’re in a better place’ may be meant well but can feel dismissive.
It’s also helpful to be familiar with your company’s bereavement and compassionate leave policies. Where possible, remain flexible, particularly in sudden or parental bereavement cases.
Caring for the team – and yourself
Grief can have a ripple effect. When one team member is affected, others may experience emotional strain, especially in tightly connected teams. Pay attention to team dynamics and be alert to signs of secondary grief. Support can be as simple as acknowledging how others are feeling or offering space.
Supporting someone through grief can be emotionally challenging, so it’s just as important to take care of your own wellbeing. Lean on personal or professional support networks, and don’t hesitate to model self-care by setting boundaries, taking breaks, and asking for help when you need it.
Resources and professional help
There are several organisations available for anyone needing further support:
- Cruse Bereavement Care: www.cruse.org.uk, 0808 808 1677
- Mind: www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Samaritans: www.samaritans.org, 116 123
- Employee assistance programmes (EAPs) also provide confidential help for both employees and managers.
At Bupa Dental Care, we provide a range of resources to support our teams through challenging times. This includes a new dedicated webinar series, Navigating Tough Topics, running throughout 2025 – led by our GPs and therapists. The series offers a safe and supportive space for people managers to explore emotionally complex workplace conversations, starting with a session focused on bereavement.
We also offer an online platform featuring self-guided programmes on stress, sleep, and emotional wellbeing. In addition, our teams have access to JAAQ at Work, which provides insights from professionals and individuals with lived experience across more than 50 topics. These resources form part of our broader approach to supporting employee health and wellbeing.
Sophie McCormick, practice manager, Bupa Dental Care Great Dunmow, shares her experience:
‘In August 2024, I married my partner of 17 years. It was a special day, made even more so as my mum celebrated with us at the amazing age of 83.
‘When I returned from our honeymoon, my sister called with worrying news – our mum had developed a serious leg infection and could no longer sit up. She was admitted to hospital, and we later learned she had heart failure and sadly, there were no treatment options available.
‘At the time, I had recently taken on the responsibility of managing two dental practices. Each day, I would go to work, then catch a bus to the next town to spend a few hours with my mum before heading home. It became a routine – one that kept me going.
‘One evening in October, my siblings and I visited mum as usual. That night, she passed away.
‘I took four days off work to grieve but felt a strong urge to return to some kind of routine – to be with my team and carry on as normal. But by Friday of that week, I realised I wasn’t coping. During a call with my manager, I broke down in tears. It became clear I had come back too soon.
‘My doctor signed me off for a further two weeks. The grief was overwhelming and had started to affect my physical health. I suffered from intense pain and acid reflux. I returned gradually, then took more time off in November for the funeral.
‘One thing I’ve learned about grief is that everyone experiences it differently. Some people need to stay busy; others need time away. Some want to talk about it; others, like me, can’t. Friends who had also lost parents wanted to share their stories, but I couldn’t bear to speak about my own pain.
‘I also carry a sense of guilt. When people say, “At least your mum saw you get married”, I think to myself – if I hadn’t got married, would she still be here?
‘Now, eight months on, the grief still catches me off guard. I can be fine one moment and crying the next. But I try to take comfort in the idea that when someone leaves us, it makes space for someone new to arrive. Not long after my mum passed, two of my dentists told me they were expecting – and both babies are due on my mum’s birthday.
‘This coming October, I’ll have been through all the firsts: first Christmas, first birthday without her, first Mother’s Day. I hope that by then, I’ll have found a little more peace.
‘If you’re grieving, please know you’re not alone – and however you choose to navigate your loss, that’s okay.’
For more information on careers at Bupa, you can visit: jobs.bupadentalcare.co.uk.
Read more from this series:
- Managing TMD, bruxism and TMJ disorders in general practice
- Supporting lifelong oral health from the very first visit
- Why learning is key to a healthier, happier mind – at any age
- Why your gums matter for your overall health
- Encouraging healthy habits for the new year.
This article is sponsored by Bupa Dental Care.
