‘Perfection is a myth’: Hira Arshad talks about balancing dentistry, kids and career goals.
I often joke that I have three full-time jobs: being a dentist, being a mum, and trying (often failing) to be a well-rested human. Balancing work and home life as an ambitious dentist is like performing a root canal on a screaming toddler – possible, but only with patience, precision and an exceptionally good sense of humour.
The daily juggle
In the world of UK dentistry, where you’re constantly switching between high-pressure NHS targets and the meticulous world of private treatments, it sometimes feels like I have a split personality. One minute, I’m speed-running an NHS list, explaining to a patient (for the hundreth time) that an NHS filling will do the job even if it is not ‘white’. The next, I’m switching gears into private mode, discussing smile makeovers and Invisalign plans in a relaxed environment with a latte (preferably a cappuccino, but let’s see what’s available in the kitchen stock at the practice).
Just when I think I have got it all under control-treatment plans done, CPD logged, Invisalign cases reviewed – my phone pings. Not an urgent referral, not a last-minute cancellation, but the school app notification.
I open it and am instantly bombarded with a list of upcoming ‘important dates’ that reads less like an academic schedule and more like an elaborate festival lineup. World Book Day (costume ‘encouraged’), sports day (volunteers needed), crazy hair day (DIY encouraged), cultural appreciation day (traditional attire preferred), and don’t forget Friday is the
class assembly.
Naturally, since my seven-year-old is always up for participating in everything, we’ll of course be joining every single one of these chaos-filled celebrations!
Between patients and playtime
Trying to fit in my postgraduate diploma course while working and parenting is like attempting to floss a cat – technically possible, but you might not survive it. The ideal plan? Waking up at 5am for some peaceful study time. The reality? The baby wakes up at 4.45am, sensing my ambition.
So, I have had to get creative. Reading articles during lunchtime, listening to recorded lectures while doing the school run, or squeezing in some online CPD while pretending to watch a cartoon with the kids (thank you, subtitles). Sometimes, I even try to sneak in a bit of reading between patients – until a nurse comes in to remind me my next patient has arrived and is very eager to discuss their root canal concerns… again.
At work, I am an associate dentist and a clinical lead, making decisions and (hopefully) having answers for my fellow dentists. At home, I am a mum to a seven-year-old and a two-year-old who alternate between being best friends and fierce rivals – usually within the same five minutes. They both want me to play with them, referee their battles, and somehow still have energy left by bedtime.
There is also the guilt – the constant feeling that if I’m excelling in one area, I must be failing in another. But I’ve learned that perfection is a myth, and as long as no one is actively on fire (patient or child), I’m doing fine.
What’s the secret?
Spoiler: there isn’t one.
Balancing it all is an ongoing experiment. Some days, I feel like superwoman, nailing complex treatments and bedtime stories in one go. Other days, dinner is a takeaway, and my to-do list is buried under unread emails along with my endless articles which I had to finish reading last week.
But here’s what helps:
- Boundaries: work stays at work (mostly), and family time is sacred
- Flexibility: some days, study happens. Some days, sleep wins. Both are okay
- Support: a good team at work and a partner at home who knows that when I’m upset, it’s misdirected anger, not their fault (well, not always). It’s just the 100 tabs open in my brain screaming for attention at once.
Embrace the chaos
Being an ambitious dentist and a present parent is tough, but hey, what job worth doing isn’t? We don’t need to be perfect; we just need to keep going – one patient, one bedtime story, and one cold coffee at a time (though, I do prefer hot coffee, so you can imagine the irony).
So, to my fellow dentists juggling work and home life, just remember: if you can handle a difficult patient, you can handle a toddler. And if all else fails, there’s always chocolate.
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